Console Gamer

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CONSOLE GAMER.jpg
ᴄᴏɴꜱᴏʟᴇ ɢᴀᴍᴇʀ after financial ruin
🚨 ℂ𝕌ℝℝ𝔼ℕ𝕋 𝕋ℍℝ𝔼𝔸𝕋: 🚨
CONSOLE.gif
🎮 ᴄᴏɴꜱᴏʟᴇ 🎮
BOYCOTT : 𝗬𝗘𝗦 🚫 🎮 🚫

A console gamer is an ᵉⁿˢˡᵃᵛᵉᵈ gamer who is:

  • forced to work [ᵐᵉᵃⁿⁱⁿᵍˡᵉˢˢ ʲᵒᵇˢ] for money to buy the next hyped up $70 plastic disc. 💿
  • forced to pay monthly fee:PS+ ($ᴏɴʏ)     ˣᴮᴼˣ ᴸⁱᵛᵉ ᴳᵒˡᵈ + ᴳᵃᵐᵉ ᴾᵃˢˢ (ᴍ$)
  • forced to play ᴄᴇɴꜱᴏʀᴇᴅ games only   🔞 👯‍♀️ 🚫

Background

We called them "porch monkeys" because they sat on the porch. 🐒

In Retrospect,
We should have banned all porches to end racism, but we never did.

Nowadays, we call them "couch monkeys" b/c they sit on the couch [playing console games].

To end racism, we must ban the couch. 🚫 🛋️ 🚫

BLOCKS YOUR PATH :
ᴄᴏᴜᴄʜ + ᴄᴏɴꜱᴏʟᴇ = Console-Couch-Industrial Complex (CCIC, pronounced 'SICK')
F*CK YO COUCH!

ᴄᴏɴꜱᴏʟᴇ ɢᴀᴍᴇʀ (ɴᴘᴄ) ʟᴏɢɪᴄ

ᴄᴏɴꜱᴏʟᴇ ɢᴀᴍᴇʀꜱ would rather rob a grocery store than pay 31[1] cents for a pound of watermelon🍉, but will gladly pay $500 for a plastic box and then $70 for a shiny plastic disc that's inside of another plastic box.

In other words: FOR EVERY PS5 + two $70 exclusives, 1 TON (2,000 pounds) OF WATERMELON is NOT purchased and ends up on landfill. 🚛🍉💩

ʀᴜʟᴇꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇᴇ

ᴄᴇɴꜱᴏʀꜱʜɪᴘ (NO FUN ALLOWED)

ᴄᴏɴꜱᴏʟᴇ ɢᴀᴍᴇʀꜱ are NOT allowed to coom to fictional characters while $𝗢𝗡𝗬 🆂🅴🆇ᴇᴄᴜᴛɪᴠᴇꜱ sexually abuse/harass real people[2]

ᴍᴏꜱᴛ ᴏᴘᴘʀᴇꜱꜱᴇᴅ

They say transgender suicide rate is 41%[3], that is just 9 points short of 50 and then you would get a quantum state called Schrödinger's Tranny: the transgender can be either dead and/or alive, we just don't know! 🤔 🤷‍♂️
But the most oppressed group (console gamers) is understudied ( texture suicide rate not found).[ᶜⁱᵗᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿ ⁿᵉᵉᵈᵉᵈ]

ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ ɢᴀᴍᴇ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴏʟᴇ, ETHICS and (You)

ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ ɢᴀᴍᴇ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴏʟᴇꜱ are 100% unethical and here is a list of reasons why:

  • censorship: all games must be approved by $ONY / M$ / $EGA / (((NINTENDO)))
  • price fixing: console game price is set by console cartels, and it just keeps going up. $70. soon it will be $80, $90, then $100.
  • loss of freedom: no keyboard/mouse, no freeware games, no freedom to upgrade hardware parts, etc.

See Also

PC Gamer

References

  1. kitchn : watermelon price 🗄️
  2. CNET : "Sony Playstation exec under investigation" 🗄️
  3. URBAN DICTIONARY: 41% 🗄️